Time management is a valuable tool in life. The thing most people wouldn’t think needs great time management is relationships. If a couple, before they start dating, have different groups of friends, they definitely need time management. They need to learn that speding time with your friends and those of your s/o (significant other) equally is important. Everyone needs to spend time with your own friends…even sometimes without your s/o (if you have a different group of friends). A person needs to not spend every waking moment with their s/o. After all, absence makes the heart grow fonder. Also, a person needs to just be able to be with their friends. If your s/o fits into your group of friends (or you into your s/o’s group of friends) then its fine to hang out with either group of friends (or even as one big group) but make sure its equally with both groups. People dont want to leave their comfort zones; they did so to date and that is usually the most they want to or can handle leaving their comfort zone. Also, if one of the couple always hangs out with their s/o’s group of friends, when/if the relationship ends, they might have lost the “old gang” of friends they once had, or at least it could be hard to fall back into their comfort zone. The worst thing to do is to end up broken up with your s/o and have no one close to you to comfort you and tell you everything is going to be alright. And they can’t go to the s/o’s friends as they were originally the ex’s friends. They need their own friends to go to. Hence the reason they need to keep their old friends. Dating a person from a different group of friends is supposed to help you make more friends, not lose some.
Conversely, a couple has to learn not to spend too much time with friends. They need some alone time to be a couple and do “couple-y things”. After all, its awkward for everyone involved if a couple gets too into PDA. In addition, its not healthy for any relationship if the couple spends too much or not enough time together. The amount of time spent together should allow both parties to be comfortable.
For couples with the same original group of friends, you still need time management but it is perhaps a little easier. There only needs to be a balance between alone time and time with friends.
This one was a little personal to me so i hope it helps and that you liked it.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Those mad awkward conversations...
So i thought through experience this topic is a hard one to accept..but its necessary. If problems arise in relationships, they need to be talked about.
The most uncomfortable conversations make the strongest relationships. Strong, loving relationships dont just happen to everyone. If your lucky enough yea you have a relationship like that..most people arent that lucky. Even if you have that kind of relationship there will come a time (or two, or three, or a million) where you need to have those awkward, uncomfortable conversations. No matter who is in the relationship those kinds of conversations are inevetiable…just as arguments are. Its the ups and downs of love. If love were so easy, everyone would be married. But obviously, everyone is not set out to be in love because of those conversations (well, that and they could be assholes). But you will be able to (eventually) talk about anything and everything if you just open up to eachother.
If something is bothering you, just tell your significant other your feelings without getting mad. If you get mad/yell they will automatically get defensive or ignore you. If you talk calmly they will more than likely listen to you and youll both be happy in the end. Then you can, whenever something bothers you (whether its you or the other), youll have someone who you trust to tell anything to. The first conversation will be weird. I feel that the “you screwed up” conversations are so awkward because two people share an extra “bond” that sometimes might make people unwilling (or at least less willing) to share personal things...they are afraid that they are going to say something that will scare their loved one away. In all honesty, if what you say to them scares them away, they dont deserve to be with you.
A boyfriend or girlfriend should always be willing to compromise in order to make their significant other happy…to an extent. You dont want them to do something that they absolutely hate to make you happy. Love is a give/take kind of thing...again unless your lucky enough to find your “perfect mate” (which happens probably once in a million. sorry everyone.)
The most uncomfortable conversations make the strongest relationships. Strong, loving relationships dont just happen to everyone. If your lucky enough yea you have a relationship like that..most people arent that lucky. Even if you have that kind of relationship there will come a time (or two, or three, or a million) where you need to have those awkward, uncomfortable conversations. No matter who is in the relationship those kinds of conversations are inevetiable…just as arguments are. Its the ups and downs of love. If love were so easy, everyone would be married. But obviously, everyone is not set out to be in love because of those conversations (well, that and they could be assholes). But you will be able to (eventually) talk about anything and everything if you just open up to eachother.
If something is bothering you, just tell your significant other your feelings without getting mad. If you get mad/yell they will automatically get defensive or ignore you. If you talk calmly they will more than likely listen to you and youll both be happy in the end. Then you can, whenever something bothers you (whether its you or the other), youll have someone who you trust to tell anything to. The first conversation will be weird. I feel that the “you screwed up” conversations are so awkward because two people share an extra “bond” that sometimes might make people unwilling (or at least less willing) to share personal things...they are afraid that they are going to say something that will scare their loved one away. In all honesty, if what you say to them scares them away, they dont deserve to be with you.
A boyfriend or girlfriend should always be willing to compromise in order to make their significant other happy…to an extent. You dont want them to do something that they absolutely hate to make you happy. Love is a give/take kind of thing...again unless your lucky enough to find your “perfect mate” (which happens probably once in a million. sorry everyone.)
New Years Resolution
So I have a new years resolution to help out anywhere/time I can (no matter how little) and was told by a friend to do something like this. This is for all those in a relationship, or who want one.
A strong, loving relationship is special. Most of the strongest relationships are based on emotional attachment rather than physical. That emotional attachment can be reached through talking as much and as often as possible…about anything and everything. Open relationships are a precursor to a long-lasting loving relationship. Guys treat your girlfriend with the utmost respect. Chivarly aint dead gentlemen. A girl likes to be treated nicely and pampered (then again, so do guys). Spoil her every one in a while..she deserves it. It shows her you care for her.
Girls (and most guys) want to cuddle. 99% of girls love it. Most would rather snuggle up with their man than say make out (obviously not all girls are like that but ya know) if your hanging out with your girlfriend and you want to have a great time just enjoy being with her without getting “involved”. This is a great way to build a strong relationship. After all, the sexual aspect of relationships can get boring fast…theres only so much variety possible. But if a relationship is built on a foundation of communication there is always a “fall-back” that will never get boring…it is impossible to run out of things to talk about. If your getting into a relationship, take your time; dont try to get in her pants on the first date…treat her like a lady and talk first.
Girls, kiss him. And not always on the lips. Guys dont want to be the only one showing affection. For guys, they dont want to feel like the only one “giving” the love..they want to receive love as well. For me, the cutest thing is when a girl kisses her boyfriend on the cheek…it shows they have a completely comfortable, loving relationship.
A strong, loving relationship is special. Most of the strongest relationships are based on emotional attachment rather than physical. That emotional attachment can be reached through talking as much and as often as possible…about anything and everything. Open relationships are a precursor to a long-lasting loving relationship. Guys treat your girlfriend with the utmost respect. Chivarly aint dead gentlemen. A girl likes to be treated nicely and pampered (then again, so do guys). Spoil her every one in a while..she deserves it. It shows her you care for her.
Girls (and most guys) want to cuddle. 99% of girls love it. Most would rather snuggle up with their man than say make out (obviously not all girls are like that but ya know) if your hanging out with your girlfriend and you want to have a great time just enjoy being with her without getting “involved”. This is a great way to build a strong relationship. After all, the sexual aspect of relationships can get boring fast…theres only so much variety possible. But if a relationship is built on a foundation of communication there is always a “fall-back” that will never get boring…it is impossible to run out of things to talk about. If your getting into a relationship, take your time; dont try to get in her pants on the first date…treat her like a lady and talk first.
Girls, kiss him. And not always on the lips. Guys dont want to be the only one showing affection. For guys, they dont want to feel like the only one “giving” the love..they want to receive love as well. For me, the cutest thing is when a girl kisses her boyfriend on the cheek…it shows they have a completely comfortable, loving relationship.
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